German chemist Wolfgang Blauhardt recently claimed in a a paper that LEGO bricks contain a powerful “cocktail” of addictive substances. The possibility of illegal drugs in the product was first leaked last January by an anonymous copyeditor working for the medical journal in which Dr. Blauhardt’s paper is forthcoming.

The paper alleges that the corporate LEGO labs have compiled a veritable cocktail of controlled substances that is designed to create a lifelong addict out of anyone who touches the plastic toy. The LEGO Company was unavailable for comment at the time of this blog post’s publication.

Well, this explains a lot. No wonder I can’t put the danged things down.
Update (April 2): April Fools!

The LEGO Group has announced that the stud is being discontinued. Making the biggest change ever to their iconic “System of Play,” the company said in a private phone call to a select group of fans that the time of the stud is over. They will be releasing a new brick that sticks together with internal magnets.

Bjorn Kjeldsen, head of LEGO’s Magnetic Research Department, listed several reasons for the shift:

First of all, magnets are much more fun. What child hasn’t spent hours attaching and reattaching piles of magnets? They are much easier for small children to use than the current studded brick. Secondly, people equate magnets with fun and style. Not so with studs. Studs are old-fashioned. They are so 20th century. Magnets will take us through the 21st century and beyond! Lastly, there is the engineering issue. What with the recent decision to transfer production from Mexico to Madagascar, we needed a new brick that required less manufacturing precision. These new magnetic bricks fit the bill perfectly.

I guess this gives a whole new meaning to studless creations…

Update (April 2): April Fools!