News: LEGO bricks found to contain addictive additives

German chemist Wolfgang Blauhardt recently claimed in a a paper that LEGO bricks contain a powerful “cocktail” of addictive substances. The possibility of illegal drugs in the product was first leaked last January by an anonymous copyeditor working for the medical journal in which Dr. Blauhardt’s paper is forthcoming.

The paper alleges that the corporate LEGO labs have compiled a veritable cocktail of controlled substances that is designed to create a lifelong addict out of anyone who touches the plastic toy. The LEGO Company was unavailable for comment at the time of this blog post’s publication.

Well, this explains a lot. No wonder I can’t put the danged things down.
Update (April 2): April Fools!

6 comments on “News: LEGO bricks found to contain addictive additives

  1. thwaak

    When I get home from work, I’m going to try grinding up my gold C3-PO and then snorting it.

    I’ll let you know how it goes.

  2. Pingback:   If You Don't Get Your April idiot Out Of My Face I'm Gonna Turn You Into Chopped Liver by GizmoDevil

  3. Von Goyle

    The National Society of Parents Against My Own Creations
    ( NSPAMOC ) has issued a warrant for the arrest of the “Brothers Brick” as a collective for promoting such heinous materials towards their children.
    “It was either them or High Times and we had to make the right choice to protect our kids” …voiced one concerned citizen.

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