Famed LEGO builder Joey Klusnick has found a nightmare scenario in me that I never knew could exist. At my age, I’m happier sitting on a shady bench and watching youngins go on amusement rides rather than going on myself. Getting jostled around just doesn’t have the same appeal as it did when I was younger, plus I’d spill the cocktail I’d inevitably be enjoying. Enter the nightmare scenario, which is part gravitron, part mech-beetle and all vomit-inducing. Plus, there is no passively sitting on a bench with this thing around. No siree! This beast grabs its victims and plants them into its spinning gravitron compartment and spins them to death. To death, you hear me? I told you kids those amusement rides were dangerous!

You can even see the Gravitron Beetle in action if you’re brave enough. Not me though. I’ll just sit here with my Vodka Tonic and contemplate where my life went so wrong.