Combining medieval combat with big-box convenience, Jon & Catherine Stead bring us Swords ‘R’ Us, the one-stop shop for blades of every kind. And not just blades, but spears, shields, clubs, tridents. Anything you need to vanquish your enemies can be found here.

Don’t worry about your horse, because there’s always plenty of parking at Swords ‘R’ Us.

Attendants are on hand to keep the parking lot looking spiffy and help keep your boots spic and span.

So many weapons under one roof is convenient, but even more convenient is that the roof can hinge up for easy access.

Inside you’ll find so many ways to impale on sale.

Browse their selection of deadly armaments and find the one that’s just right for you.

Any questions? Proprietors Master Wu and Barry the Blacksmith are always happy to offer their customers a helping hand.

And before you leave, make sure you check out the flaming forge…you never know what new weapons they might be cooking up!

Thanks for shopping at Swords ‘R’ Us. And don’t worry about holding on to your receipt. After all, if the product doesn’t work, you’re probably dead…